>> STORY BOOK - Birthing

STORIES

Robyn Thompson - Midwife

This story is about Free Birthing, a collective of experiences, presented in four parts, written by Colita, Rob and myself. They have kindly given me permission to publish their stories unedited.

Free birth is the term used when a woman births at home with her chosen people, without a midwife in attendance. My first experience with this type of request came with the birth of Hailey on the 30th June 1997. Her parents Colita and Rob first came to see me on 20th November 1996 to discuss their first option to have a water birth at home. On that day we had a long discussion about the various aspects of birthing at home, including the type of back up systems available. Rob and Colita lived in a rural area and access to the public hospital system meant travelling to Melbourne, 45 minutes to 1-hour drive. Madeleine their 2-year-old, was included in the whole process from the first information visit, her birth was a planned and happy Birth Center experience. She was born at 40 weeks gestation after an 11-hour labour weighed 3.3 kgms and was breastfed for 2-1/2 years.

They attempted to obtain medical backup with a private obstetrician in the area where they lived, which meant they could access the large, private community hospital with a good obstetric unit if the need arose. For his own reasons, this particular doctor denied them back up. The next option was to plan their backup at the Royal Women's Hospital, Melbourne. I had already obtained reasonable access to this system, which was initiated when I visited the Medical Director in November 1993. He took the responsible attitude of making possible a formal liaison system for women who require hospital transfer from planned homebirth. He arranged a system that short circuits the administrative, admission procedures. The necessary paperwork is prepared on receipt of a letter from me, outlining some details for each woman then a medical record is filed. There is no requirement for the woman to visit the hospital during her pregnancy. This system has worked well, with minimum requirement for transfer. It does not give me access as primary midwife, but the strength of my advocacy role has been forced to develop because of this denial.

Colita and Rob came to see me again at 12 weeks gestation. Colita is a petite woman, quite tall and very fine in structure. We talked about haemodilution during pregnancy and the effect this can have on the cardiovascular system. Colita is also RH negative so we covered information about prevention of rh immunisation, antibody titres and the possible need for and injection of Anti D if indicated and the importance of it being administered within 72 hours of birth.
Hailey
During this visit they informed me that they wanted to aim for a Free Birth. They had attended a conference in Melbourne where the speaker Jeannine Parvati Baker told of her personal experiences with Free Birthing. Jeannine birthed at home with her partner and family, including twins. Unknown to each other I had also attended one day of that conference, so I was aware of the depth of their request. Being the sort of person I am and the philosophy I uphold, I never say no without giving full consideration to individual needs. I talked to them about the responsibility that we all had in the current climate and attitude about homebirth in Australia. They were both very clear and confident in what they would like to do and were more than happy to maintain regular contact for antenatal care. They were willing to work through a Birth Plan with me so that we all had some common ground in understanding possible scenarios. We talked openly about possible unexpected events, attitudes of friends and relatives and other health professionals. Each of us agreed to maintain a responsible approach and positive attitude. Over the pregnancy we completed the Birth Plan. Our plans included a contingency for midwife assistance, administration of oxytocin and Anti D should it be indicated and the necessary legal documentation requirements.

Colita continued to work and looked after herself during her pregnancy, her fundal height remained a little smaller that her anticipated due date. Taking into account her height, her length between hip and shoulder, her petite structure, previous midwifery history and family history, I believed her baby was growing appropriately. They were both keen to avoid unnecessary interventions and did agree to have initial antenatal blood screening tests with repeat RH antibody titres.

The antenatal period was a healthy, natural and personalised event. They were both responsible about learning to know how to take a blood pressure and listen to the fetal heart, they learned why observations, apgar scoring, PKU were an important part of their responsible decision making. They agreed to record their findings and write a story about the progress of labour and their birth experience. They willingly gave me a copy for my records. Everything was positive until the point where Colita and Rob took the responsible approach to attend an Obstetrician to discuss hospital backup in case of the need for transfer. After this consultation they both came to see me. They had just experienced a medical consultation where fear and negative conversation was used to reduce them to a stressed, emotional state after which he declined to provide support. The main focus was the baby's size. The next hour consisted of undoing the trauma by debriefing and reconfirming their ability and confidence in themselves.

Over the latter weeks they organised the large size 'Toy's R Us' pool, set their home up the way they felt comfortable and rang me as planned when labour commenced and again when they had birthed their baby. They were elated when baby Hailey arrived into her mum and dad's hands, she emerged through the water at 6.43 PM (1843 hours) on June 30th, 1997. A total of 6 hours 57 minutes of established labour, apgar score of 9 @1 minute and 10 @ 5 minutes, commenced breastfeeding, placenta birthed naturally 12 minutes later, cord and placenta remained attached until natural separation occurred on the 4th day (Lotus Birth). Oxytocin was not required, Anti D was indicated and administered by the Pathology nurse.

I attended a postnatal home visit on day 4 and was welcomed into a very peaceful and relaxed household. Hailey was feeding well, her cord had separated, her PKU test was done as requested and her newborn assessment was wonderful. I met Rob's Dad (an orthodpaedic doctor) for the first time, was visiting his new grand daughter. This was one reason why it was difficult for them to share their plans with family and friends. The traditional medical approach may have caused negative influence and they chose not to take that chance. It was so obvious that Colita, Rob and Madelaine were very pleased with themselves, they had achieved their goal in a very responsible way. I thank them for inviting me into this new experience.

PART 2 - FAMILY BIRTHING Return to top

Hi Robyn, I am finally sending my birth story to you, I had given it to a friend to edit and only just got it back. I wrote two, one with the basic story and another with a bit more of the why? Hailey is going wonderfully a very happy easy baby. I thought you might like to know that Madelaine has called Hailey's first teddy Robyn, it took me a few days to work out the significance and then it seemed just right.

Birth has always been seen as women's thing. Over the centuries older women have helped the younger women to birth and girl children of the tribes grew up with birth as a natural part of life. Today both are very hidden and are, in most cases, not in the natural environment of home. Most women's first experience of birth, besides there own, is the birth of their first child. First-time parents attending classes still really have no idea what they are doing which is why I feel that it is so important for children to experience birth - all the pain and joy, and not grow up with fear of the unknown. I truly believe there would be fewer complications in birth if society didn't hide it.
Colita and Hailey
The ideal birth, a truly natural experience with just you and your partner, begins in the months earlier, with a revealing of each other in receiving each other's love and ultimately reaching orgasm together. On that day or within the next five days, his sperm and your egg meet in another union; your love for each other mixing in a new life. As your baby grows you feel it's movements and are reminded of its presence, as you grow into being parents.

What is more empowering then for the two of you to birth your baby at home and, as a woman to reveal another level of yourself and experience another level of trust in yourself and your husband letting him in totally on all levels. How many couples rely totally on the doctor or midwife to do it for them? Many fathers turn up to the obligatory classes and possible one or two antenatal checks. When their wife does go into labour they freak out, not handling their wife's pain, stressing her out and giving the doctor the power to decide everything 'because he knows best'! Ultimately they are then passed a screaming sticky baby. Shell shock.

Birth is an important for the father as the mother and baby. He knows your body as a lover, he knows how to touch you and as a father birther if need be, he can examine your cervix. Who's hands are you going to let in and enjoy more readily - your lovers or your doctors?

Men have been denied being part of the birthing process for to long and children have been denied the experience of being welcomed into the world by equally responsible, equally educated and active, loving parents. Who's hands touch the baby first - daddy's or the gloved hands of a doctor/midwife. Women often talk of equality between the sexes but still women see birth as women's thing. And men believe them. Time for change!

Another belief going around is that it is good for a daughter to see birth but not for boys. WHY? We need to raise empowered children who will grow up to be parent's and will have more understanding of the outcome of there sexual activities, men and women taking responsibility and helping to lower the rate of accidental pregnancies.

For me my children are as much part of my love as my husband is, and the baby I carry in my womb is as much a by-product of my husband and our love as our love for our daughter and us as a family.

PART 3 - HAILEY'S BIRTH - A Mother Voice from Colita Return to top

For me Hailey's labour started with the finishing of a quilt I had been making for her. I had never done much in the way of sewing so it had been a big project, and so satisfying making something for our unborn child. I had been frantically trying to finish it, and on the evening before her due day I had it pretty much together, and within an hour my mucous plug came out.

Hookah! I was so excited, knowing that within 24 hours I would be holding our baby, after so much preparation it was now happening. We went to bed to try to sleep, but I couldn't. Contractions were coming very mildly. I spent the night sewing, reading and doing some yoga, eventually falling asleep. I woke 25 minutes past each hour for a contraction.

At dawn Rob and I cuddled and made love, pausing to breathe together in contractions. Energy was being created between us, priming us for the birth. Our love created the baby and our love and trust in each other birthed our baby. This love and trust in each other was as rewarding as the birth and has got stronger and stronger since.

The morning we spent doing our usual daily jobs. Madelaine our 2-1/2 year old daughter and I played 'cutting and pasting'. I went and checked our lambing ewes and found one was lambing and looked a bit stuck, but I left her and came home for a cuppa. An hour or so later we ended up having to pull the lamb - very special being a midwife to a birth on the day of our child's birth.

We had contact with Robyn our on-call midwife when my mucous plug came out and then again in the morning. We told one or two friends who happened to phone in that morning that we were in labour. We called no one else, as most people didn't know that we had planned to birth alone and we didn't want their fear projected on us.

Contractions started becoming intense around 2 o'clock - checked dilation only 3-4cms. A bit frustrating, so I fill up the birth pool and had yet another trip to the toilet, then jumped in with Madelaine and her rubber ducks. The water was very hot and seemed to slow labour down, so I got out and went for a walk around the garden. It was still winter's afternoon and cold air felt great on my wet naked body. I was feeling emotional, questioning our ability to do this on our own, but realised that my fears were probably prolonging labour. When I came in, Rob and I talked about this and it was good to know that he was going through the same thing.

Things began to fasten up. Another trip to the toilet and back in the bath. Madelaine was great; she held my hand, rubbed my back and kept checking to see if the baby was coming. My positions rotated between lying submerged to leaning forwards and backwards on the side of the pool.

A ray of sunlight came in the window to light up the pool. I felt blessed.

I got out of the pool; we tried to listen to the heart again and gave up after half an hour of being distracted with Madelaine and my final run to the toilet with a bout of diarrhoea. I could feel the baby move down and knew any more pressure to go to the toilet was now the baby's head.

Back in the pool I now needed Rob's full attention to hold me as tight as he could. Transition; it was too painful - I had had enough. All I wanted to do was curl up with my Robert Ludlum action-packed book. I had to laugh at myself! At this stage we noticed Madelaine had got out of the bath, dressed herself and fallen asleep reading books in the other room, we could not wake her.

Hailey was kicking and pushing between contractions, she was helping herself out. In the breaks between contractions and Hailey kicking I went into a deep, resting, meditative space. 'The planet of the birthing women'. I had heard a midwife call it once = a very beautiful space. I knew the next contraction was going to be a strong one but I could handle it. The second wind! I could keep having babies for this; I'm a bit of a birth addict. It's such a shame so many women opt for the medical drugs they miss the true drug - LIFE!

At the next contraction I started to push involuntarily and the waters broke with a pop. What a physical relief I put my fingers in and could feel her head moving and she was kicking my diaphragm. She wants to come out! She gave me incentive! I could do it! Next contraction her head started to come out and I started to pant - my body knew what to do as her head slid out - no one had to tell me.

"The heads out" I declared. "It is? It is!" Rob says as he stripped off and got into the pool. He felt for the cord around her neck, but no cord. The next contraction and she slid out into her father's hands and he lifted her out of the water to me. She was beautiful, covered in vernix with a pink undertone. I held her and softly blew on her mouth as she stirred. Rob and I kissed and cuddled, cooing over our baby and said to each other 'We did it!'

We tried to wake Madelaine again but she was limp like a rag doll. When she did finally wake 1/2 an hour later she was very upset about missing the birth, but soon settled into checking out our little baby.

The placenta was birthed about 10 minutes after Hailey. We salted and placed the placenta in a bag and wrapped it in a bunny rug along side Hailey. Over the next four days Hailey just slept and drank, after the cord broke away Hailey really awoke her second birth.

The only negative side of the whole birth, were the severe after pains I experienced for the next three days. At night and during breastfeeding the contractions were the worst. I sipped brandy when they were really bad and on the third night I took a Panadol, heaven forbid! If you know me, that is bad, but I had some much needed sleep.

We experienced a totally natural birth (bar the Panadol) without intervention, no cutting the cord. We think it's the way it should be, and can be, if a couple believe in themselves. Our second daughter, Hailey was born at home, under water in a blow up swimming pool in our lounge room, with just the three of us. It was so empowering, so exhilarating, and so bonding for us as a family. And yes we did have backup on call. But I knew and trusted Hailey Rob Madelaine and myself. And we did it!

PART 4 - AN EXTRAORDINARY, ORDINARY BIRTH - Return to top Story

Our second daughter was born on Monday 30th June 1997 at 6.43pm. The months leading up to the birth were exciting. My wife Colita and I wanted to birth our baby at home. Our first daughter was born at the Hawthorn Birth Center in Melbourne, Australia, under water in the birthing pool there. This was a marvelous and joyous experience for us and reinforced our belief that birth can be a natural and healthy event needing nil intervention. We again started reading about birth and discussing homebirth and wondered why we needed any others present at the birth? Could we be our own midwives at the birth? Around this time and to our great delight we went to hear Jeannine Parvati Baker speak on precisely this way of birthing. She spoke of the great empowerment that comes with taking fully the responsibility of birthing ones children at home with only the immediate family members present.

So it was decided, we would do it at home alone. We also decided not to tell people about this decision to do it alone, as we didn't want everyone's fear projected onto our birth. Having a homebirth was more than many of our friends and family could cope with. I have to say I did have some fears, mainly the fear of public persecution if something had gone wrong. But my intuition and strong inner peace about the birth told me clearly that all would be well. If it had not, I would have organised for the level of support needed during the birth to maintain my peace of mind.

We did have a midwife, Robyn Thompson. She was fantastic. We needed a backup person who supported our wish to birth at home alone, and help prepare us fully for this. Robyn was the answer; I have so much gratitude and respect for her, not just in her knowledge, ability and experience as a midwife but that she never had any trace of ego needing to be in on the action at the birth. Her whole focus was to empower us to do it ourselves. God Bless her. Robyn was on call if we felt we needed help during the birth and was the only person we rang to say labour was beginning. We also booked ourselves into the Royal Women's Hospital, Melbourne in case of an emergency. In these ways we were not alone.

The day of the birth was beautiful. Colita had been having contractions through the night and in the morning about 9.30 after making love; her contractions were coming every 20 minutes. I monitored the baby's heartbeat during the labour by placing my ear on Colita's belly and listening. The heartbeat stayed around the 150 mark indicating that the baby was not stressed. We went about our daily chores on the farm including pulling a lamb from a ewe. About midday Colita said "I'm staying inside now", the contractions were getting stronger, stopping her in her racks. We had a visitor call in for a cuppa and we chatted and relaxed. About 3pm Colita wanted to be in the warm relaxing water of the birthing pool. This was six foot in diameter, a kids wading pool with an inflatable floor and thick inflatable 2-1/2 foot sides. The pool took half an hour to fill. When our visitor saw Colita stripped off and entering the pool positioned in the living room with us, he promptly jumped and announced his departure.

Madelaine our 2-1/2 year old daughter took full advantage of the birthing pool and collected her rubber ducks from the bathroom and joined mum. We had prepared Madelaine for the birth by having her at the antenatal visits at Robyn's house and by showing her several videos on homebirth and waterbirth and reminding her of her own birth experience. She was wonderful and would hold mum's hand during contractions, rub mum's lower back and wipe mum's face with a washer. Unfortunately or maybe perfectly appropriately she got out of the bath, dressed herself and fell asleep, 30 minutes before the birth. No amount of encouragement immediately after the birth would wake her and she was very angry when she woke realising she had missed the birth.

The labour seemed to slow or get easier when Colita entered the water. At one stage she got out of the bath for a wintry walk around the garden in her birthday suit. A couple of times she walked around the house. Most of the time in the pool she was on her knees with elbows over the side of the pool. This position was the most comfortable until about 6.15pm when Colita said, "It feels like the baby needs to turn the corner". After this she changed position to one of sitting, with her knees up and back leaning against the pools side. This changing of position greatly helped the baby turn. Shortly after Colita's waters broke. I was surprised there was no blood. Things progressed rapidly from here on.

Colita felt the baby's head with her finger and indicated the head was only two inches inside. Two more contractions and the baby's head was out. I left my position supporting her from behind with an arm around her torso and jumped into the pool. The baby's head was face down and we gently checked for the cord around the neck, finding none. The baby was born with the next contraction.

This was amazing; a beautiful white cream covered being shot out under the water. I gently lifted it up for mum to nurse. We were blown away, speechless just saying "wow" and "oh". She was so beautiful, so peaceful, she cried softly, breathed and looked around at the room and us her home. We were elated.

We got out of the pool to get the baby girl warm, wrapping her in a blanket. Shortly after the placenta birthed. We never cut the cord. The placenta was salted and wrapped in a few nappies and put in a plastic bag which was placed in a very small pillow slip and carried with the baby for the next four days until the cord came away from her belly button of it's own accord. I believe much of the baby's peace in the first four days was due to allowing the placenta and cord to stay intact beside her until they were ready to come away. The placenta is an amazing organ originating not directly from the mother but from the cell division of the fertilised egg; it is truly a part of the baby. The placenta is not something to be cut off the baby, treated as dirty and smelly and thrown in the bin.

The night was beautiful we sat up and nursed our baby just the four of us. There was no well-meaning nurse to disturb us with weights, blood pressure check ups etc. just the peace of our own home. We relaxed and enjoyed our achievement - the safe, joyous, natural arrival of our new daughter. I slept soundly that night.

The next day we named her Hailey and the phone calls began. Our friends and family have all been great and we haven't had to cook a meal for ourselves until tonight, a week after the birth. I don't know how we could have improved Hailey's birth, it was just perfect or how we could have two, more beautiful daughters. A bonding took place between Colita and I during the birth. We have fallen deeper into each other, our love is more trusting and warmer. We both feel quietly empowered from our hearts. Our house is lighter and our lives are subtly changed. It all seems so natural, normal and ordinary to birth this way.

my planet .. my world ... my universe

Return to Top